


Rekindled

by Writers_Have_Their_Own_Set_of_Rules



Category: Thoroughbreds (2017)
Genre: Anya & Olivia rock as these two!, Canon & Post-Canon, Dreams and inner thoughts, Exploration of Details, F/F, Kissing, Lily / Amanda one-shots, More than just a friendship? ;), Mostly just extra scenes, Movie Timeline jumps around in each chapter, Sexual Tension, The girls influence each other heavily, Their world is so much fun to write about so I couldn't resist, They're different with each other than with other people, Things I imagine happening in between movie scenes, Told mostly through 3rd Person, Unofficial girlfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writers_Have_Their_Own_Set_of_Rules/pseuds/Writers_Have_Their_Own_Set_of_Rules
Summary: A collection of Thoroughbreds one-shots featuring Lily Reynolds and Amanda.





	1. Fantasy & Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My fav. scenes are when Lily and Amanda are sitting in that dark living room watching movies, and to me I think that's when the two most pivotal moments in their friendship occur, when Amanda suggests the murder and when she chooses to take the fall for it. Here's an exploration of how I think they watch movies in general, based on their dialogue in this scene, and how these points would no doubt influence both their budding friendship and their eventual murder plot.

_"Do you have to go?"_

_"Paula..."_

_"Alright go! Go anywhere you like! You can go to blazes for all I care!"_

_"Paula...Paula."_

_"Yes I know I'm being foolish." The woman sniffled, tears rolling down her cheeks as she spoke._

 

Lily watched, entranced by the lady's seemingly raw emotion.  Amanda crinkled her nose and struggled not to snort in disbelief.  She had to give the lady credit for trying, but she was no master of the Technique, not even close.

They were sitting in Lily's living room, watching an old black-and-white film from Lily's collection (Amanda either couldn't remember the title or she didn't want to).  

"Look that's better," Lily commented on the lady's crying, since Amanda clearly wasn't convinced. "Actually that might not even be fake."

"It is," Amanda said.

"No, look those are real tears," Lily insisted.

Were they really in a disagreement over some actress's tears? Amanda shook her head, her friend still had so much to learn.

"She's just using the Technique," she replied, then she fell silent, focusing hard on the screen.

Lily, however, continued talking. "I mean, maybe she actually fell in love with the actor," she suggested, "and they're fucking between takes.  And it's the last week of shooting, so she knows she has to return home to her  _loveless_ 1940's marriage, and..."

She was suddenly cut off by actual real-life crying from her friend's end, and Amanda turned to face her, giving her an I-told-you-so look. "The Technique," she replied.

"Holy shit," Lily marveled. 

With that, Amanda was able to pull Lily's attention away from the black-and-white lie playing in front of her, and show her the true definition of being "an actor."

Amanda had been acting for as long as she could remember, even before she recognized her inability to feel.  Ever since she was little, she knew she was different from other people regarding emotion.  It wasn't as easy for her to feel joy and happiness like other kids, not even anger and sadness immediately came to her, even when situations demanded it.  She had a feeling it had something to do with her father walking out on her and her mother Karen when she was little (in fact it was shortly before she met Lily) and at a young age she was forced to become the strong one, as her mother was a wreck.  That began her long years of practice as an actor, pretending to be strong and stoic where her mother could not be, and as she got older, she pretended to not be angry or want to give her mother hell for fear of triggering her depression from years before.  Then she reached a point where she stopped feeling altogether, avoiding people as much as possible and spending more time with her horses, particularly Honeymooner.  Because horses didn't care whether you could feel or not, they just wanted your company and attention.  

So when Amanda watched movies, she could care less about the story, the characters, or the special effects.  She saw actors playing roles, and she focused only on the way they performed them, studying their facial expressions, their hand motions, their tone of voice.  She took mental notes on each one, finding out what to do and what not to do, how to improve upon certain falsified emotions and how to convince people around her that she was a completely normal person with normal human emotions.  In fact, it was film that helped her to discover and master the Technique.  So normally she avoided films like the one playing on Lily's flats-screen, because she found most of the acting too over-dramatic and desperate to be considered believable.  And acting like that did nothing to help her own. 

The only people she couldn't pull off her acting chops with were Karen and her therapist (mainly because of the amount of analyzation they'd each done on her).  And now Lily knew the truth too.  

Speaking of Lily, it became very clear very fast that she didn't share Amanda's movie-viewing beliefs.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  And that last bit of imagination regarding the actress's relationship with the actor was the final confirmation.  

Lily watched movies  _solely_ for the story and characters.  It was her escape, to lands far and wide so that for a brief hour-and-a-half or more, she could pretend she was somewhere other than her own loveless household.  In public it was easy for her to pretend she was existed outside her depressing home life.  She could be a carefree teen, drinking high-jacked beer and gossiping with her friends from school, surrounded by laughing and talking and loud blaring pop music.  But at home, the silence was deafening inside that beautiful lie that was Mark's mansion, the only sounds being the echoes of the help rummaging around the darkest corners of the house or the brightly-lit backyard.

Then Lily would think back to when it was just her and her parents in their once beautiful brick house near the Connecticut shoreline.  Back before her father was cruelly snatched way and Mark stepped in, charming her mother, disregarding Lily, and putting their house of memories on the market before whisking them away to his large, lonely property in the middle of nowhere.  Though if it were up to him, no doubt he would've taken her mother and left Lily to fend herself at home.  Not that she would've minded, if it meant she could remain close to her father.  Then Lily felt the strong urge to break something...several things. Movies were the only thing that kept her sane.  

But on a lighter note, watching movies was fun for her.  She could invent all sorts of possibilities for the characters long after the credits rolled, or imagine what their lives were like before the film began.  When it came to the actors, she envisioned how their personal lives effected their acting on screen, so thinking those two black-and-white actors being in love wasn't unusual for her.  Only this time, she managed to share her ideas with someone, because up until this point, Lily had kept all her movie drabbles to herself.  After all, there was no one else in the house to share them with.  Her mom would brush them off, Mark was out of the question, and she wasn't close with any of the workers.  To her, they were just there to work, nothing more.

And when Amanda explained the Technique to her, Lily was surprised.  Not because it was a small reminder (in the middle of the movie no less) that none of what she was seeing was real, but because it showed that Amanda was actually paying attention.  Sitting with her there on the couch, she immediately sensed that Amanda was simply going along with Lily's suggestion to watch the movie; she understood Lily's hobbies but didn't share them.  However, when she commented about the actress's crying, it showed that she _was_ watching, though it clearly wasn't the story that captured her interest.  Still, it meant she found some way to sit through the film without complaining, and that was good enough for Lily. She shared something personal of hers with Amanda, and Amanda returned the favor by sharing something of hers with Lily, that something being the Technique.  

Lily couldn't  _wait_ to master it, and perhaps it would change the way she watched her movies.  Maybe in the future she'd focus more on the realism of her movies rather than the fantasy.  In fact, she really didn't need her movies to comfort anymore.  She had the unfazed, and untouched Amanda to keep her sucky home life interesting. 

Amanda, on the other hand, didn't need to invest in the fantasy.  It did nothing for her acting, and it never would.  And now that she had Lily, who wasn't trying to scrutinize or diagnose her lack of emotion like everyone else, she felt even more grounded in the realism.  It was clear Lily was not grounded quite yet, and somewhere deep down, Amanda felt inclined to help her.  And seeing Lily's strained, contempt-fueled conversation with Mark (along with his clear paranoia regarding her mother Cynthia's location), Amanda had a great idea on how to get her there. 

What was more real than the idea of, and even more so the act of, committing murder? 

 

******************


	2. Residual Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set a couple months after Mark's murder, Lily is continuing life as normal and goes to a party hosted by one of her friends from Andover. However, when one guy starts acting like an asshole, she starts thinking of ways to get rid of him...the exact thinking that led to Mark's demise.

_"Everywhere I go I got a million different people tryna kick it, but I'm still alone in my mind."_

********

Lily parallel-parked her mother's car across the street from her friend Madison Duval's house.  Madison's side of the street was already packed with cars, because her end-of-the-school-year party was set to be the biggest one the kids at Andover had seen yet.  She was one of Lily's closest friends at Andover when she attended, and despite being expelled, they still kept in contact.  In fact, when Madison found it was because she plagiarized, Madison wasn't angry at her.  Instead she said:

"Damn Lily, you plagiarized on your term paper? That's pretty ballsy, and so unlike you; who are you and what did you do with Lily Reynolds?" 

To summarize, Madison was impressed with what she did. She thought it was a much needed act of rebellion, and it helped put a tear in Andover's reputation for having too many students with sticks up their asses. 

If only she knew the whole story of Lily's "rebellion." Then she'd  _really_ be impressed...or totally freaked out.  Pick the one that sounded the most likely.

Lily checked her make-up in the rear view mirror, making sure nothing smudged.  Satisfied that she still looked presentable, she stepped out of the car, locked it, and looked up and down the street before crossing it.  Once she arrived at Madison's house, she could hear the latest EDM song blasting from inside, and caught the flashes of multi-colored lights gliding across the walls.  Yes, this was where she belonged.  Amongst music and drinks, friends and layered conversations.  

It almost made her actually _miss_ Andover, because at least it catered to the fact that Lily was a people-person.  But without it, she'd learned more about herself and the world than those teachers with gaudy degrees EVER could.  So in all honesty, Andover could go fuck itself.  The people she met in it mattered the most to her. 

Lily didn't even need to ring the doorbell, because the long wooden door with frosted-glass windows suddenly flew open, and some dude shoved past her to throw-up in the black garbage bin sitting along the driveway. 

Instead of recoiling in disgust, all she could was laugh at the boy's weak stomach, finding joy and entertainment in his obvious pain.  It had gone to show how much she had changed since that night. 

"Greg, where'd you go dude? I hope you made it outside or Madison's gonna have fit!" a familiar boy's voice shouted from inside coming to the door.  Lily grinned as the boy approached and saw her standing outside. 

"Holy  _shit,_ it's Lily fucking Reynolds!" he exclaimed. 

"Hey there Ben," she replied evenly, greeting Madison's boyfriend. 

"What is UP stranger?" he asked, stumbling a bit on the front steps.  He wasn't hammered, because he spoke clearly without a slur, but that would change soon if he kept it up. 

"Nothing much, what about you?" she wondered casually. "How are you and Madison?"

"Better than ever Lily, and we have YOU to thank for it!" he said happily.  Lily smiled to herself.  _And don't you forget it,_ she thought to herself.

She and Ben had actually gone on a few dates at the beginning of the year, but they'd both concluded that there weren't any sparks between them.  Ben had been bummed, because he claimed to really like Lily, while she'd realized in the end that Ben wasn't her type, however she was too polite to say so.  So in attempt to avoid telling him the truth, she decided to set him up with Madison, and when it turned out they were a perfect match, she took that as an excuse to say that their dates were only a stepping stone towards his REAL destined girlfriend.  And destiny it was; to this day Ben and Madison were still crazy about each other and always talking about how happy they were, and Lily was happy to take the credit for making it happen from anyone who asked.

"Speaking of Madison, do you know where she is?" she asked.

"Last I saw her she was on the back porch, looking real annoyed about something," Ben said, about to take another swig from the red plastic cup in his hand before Lily stopped him.

"One last thing Ben," she said. "How many drinks have you had at this point?"

"4...or 5...no yeah it was 5," he replied unevenly. 

"Then I suggest you start drinking water from now on, unless you want a bitch of a hangover in the morning," she stated, grabbing cup and pouring it out in the grass.

"Will do dude," Ben agreed, holding the side of his head and grimacing at that moment. 

With that, Lily headed inside, meandering her way through all the living room, dining room, and kitchen until she reached the sliding glass doors that opened out onto the veranda that wrapped around the house.

Once she stepped outside, she caught sight of Madison's hunched figured against the white railing, her dark red hair done up in a high ponytail. 

"Hey there Madison," she called out. 

Madison turned back with a scowl on her face, but it quickly rearranged itself into a warm smile upon seeing Lily. 

"Hi Lily, glad you could make it," Madison said. 

"Ben told me you're feeling annoyed about something, may I ask what?" Lily asked.

"See for yourself," she grumbled, gesturing towards the yard.  Lily followed her gaze and immediately understood the reason for her irritation.

Standing in the yard, chatting up one of their Andover classmates was Madison's cousin, Tanner, although she refused to recognize him as such.

See, Mark wasn't the first person Lily Reynolds had meticulously plotted against.  Towards the end of last year she'd helped Madison get Tanner's stay at her house to come to an end, after seeing firsthand what a shithead he was.  Ever since his first stay with the Duvals when he was twelve and Madison was ten, she had told Lily how he'd done nothing but cause trouble and then pin it on her. 

"He claims it makes him feel in control, since his life has done nothing but spiral out of it since then," Madison had told her, "but as a result,  _I'm_ always the one who suffers the consequences." 

Lily had felt something sympathy towards him when Madison told her the reasons why he came to live them for three extended periods. When he was twelve, his parents were in the midst of ugly divorce.  When he was fifteen, his mother was in a bad car accident.  Then last year when he was nineteen, a close friend of his died of a drug overdose.  All that tragedy was sure to screw anyone up.  But when she witnessed Madison being unfairly berated for a smoking joint found in her bag, when it clearly wasn't hers, and then seeing Tanner's cruel smirk and wink after watching the whole exchange, all traces of sympathy for him were gone.  Madison was a great girl and didn't deserve to be treated this way, so Lily immediately jumped on the idea of exposing him when Madison asked for her help in that.  They got one of their tech-savvy classmates to set up in a spy cam in Tanner's room, and sure enough, they caught him smoking pot and writing in what they assumed to be his journal.  With Lily's help in distracting him (since he made it clear he was attracted to her...ew), Madison managed to swipe his journal and finally prove to her parents that Tanner was up to no good.  They sent him home the very next day, and Madison (blissfully) hadn't seen him since.  Until today, that is. 

"What the Hell is  _he_ doing here?" Lily hissed, angry that he was ruining Madison's party just by being there.

"No fucking clue, but whatever it is, it's not good," Madison replied.

Suddenly, Tanner caught sight of the two girls watching him, and excused himself, walking up to them with a smug-ass look on his face. 

"Hello cousin," he greeted Madison smoothly as he walked up the stairs and onto the porch. "Hey Lily," he said, turning to her with a smile.  The idiot still didn't get that Lily had played a part in exposing him to Madison's parents, and that made his unfavored attraction even more grating than before.  

"What are you doing here Tanner?" Madison asked. 

"I was invited."

"I sure as hell don't remember inviting YOU," she snapped.

"You didn't, but one of your Andover pals did," Tanner retorted. "What, you think I didn't make some friends those few times I was in town?"

"Well you're not welcome here, I would've thought you got that message by now," Madison said. 

He shrugged. "Your parents aren't here, are they? And besides, do you really want me to go and tell them your party got bigger and crazier than they originally allowed? Because that's one bad deed you CAN'T worm your way out of, Mads." 

"Fuck you, we both know I didn't worm my way out of anything, I just finally exposed the truth to them," she said. "Besides, I can handle this party, and everything that comes out of it myself."

"Suit yourself Madison, but I advise you stay on my good side tonight, or my finger might just slip and hit that speed-dial button my phone," he warned with a smirk. "Then who will be exposing who?" Laughing, he walked inside, yelling over to some guys in the living room about 'turning things up a notch.' It was obviously an attempt to make the party even more out of control than it already was.

"Wow, I see being kicked out of your house did nothing to change his shitty behavior," Lily commented, forcing her face to remain neutral despite her irritation.

Madison moaned and sank into one of the rocking chairs on the porch. "I hate that asshole so much," she said. "And what's worse, I can't seem to get rid of him.  Not even with help from one of my best friends!" Then she leaned back and closed her eyes. "Hopefully, one of these days, he'll just drop fucking dead."

Lily froze at her words, a chill running through her spine at the familiarity behind that statement.

 _Hopefully one of these days he'll just...juice himself to death._ Those were the words that led to Amanda's suggestion that they kill Mark, and it changed her.  It changed her from Lily, the meek, overly-emotional follower who allowed herself to remain wrapped around Mark's finger, to Lily, a relatively numb yet newly confident individual who chose to take matters into her own hands, accepting the consequences of her actions because it was all for the greater good.  In _her_ mind, at least. 

She told herself after Amanda was arrested that she wouldn't let his murder fuck with her brain.  She'd practice being emotionless for the sake of preserving her sanity and protecting her innocence, yes, but other than that, she wouldn't let it change her mentally.  Murdering Mark was a one time thing, and the only reason she'd followed through with it was because Amanda gave her no choice.  She was NOT planning on becoming a serial killer.

But as Lily gazed down at Madison's face, a mixture of anger and hopelessness, dark thoughts began creeping into her mind. 

Could she be the Amanda in this situation, asking Madison if she ever thought about killing Tanner, and then would Madison be Lily, at first thoroughly objecting to the idea, only to agree to it later? Then, after a seemingly flawless plan that blew up in their faces, would Madison do what Lily did and invite her over, only to reveal her plan to drug her and pin Tanner's murder on her? And would _Lily_ do what _Amanda_ did, and allow herself to be framed, just for the sake of knowing Madison would be happy and free?

 _Good God no, the Amanda thing was a special situation, because she had no emotions and she felt her life had no meaning,_ Lily thought to herself.  _I may be numb most of the time, and only use my emotions in certain environments, but I KNOW my life still has meaning.  I could never be brave enough, or desperate enough, depending on which way you look at it, to do what Amanda did for me._

But still, the dark thoughts didn't go away.  Sure, a repeat of what led to Mark's demise was off the table, but on the other hand, Lily could always perform the murder herself, right? She'd pretty much killed Mark with no help from Amanda; Amanda just ensured that she wouldn't get caught.  

For example, maybe she could use Tanner's attraction to her advantage.  She could ask him out on a date, then take him somewhere far away and remote.  He'd think it was for privacy, _she'd_ being doing it for secrecy.  They'd order food along the way, and Lily would make sure there were drinks with the order.  Tanner would talk about how glad he was that she came to her senses and try to kiss her right away, but she'd play the innocent little virgin, claiming she didn't want to go too fast (for the record, Lily WAS a virgin, but far from an innocent one).  He'd begrudgingly agree, and then suggest they go swimming, since Lily would make sure they were at a lake.  A lake was nice and secluded.  

He'd run out of the car, and Lily would say that she'd catch up with him.  Then she'd take the time she had alone to decide once and for all how she would do this.  She didn't really want to stab him, because first off, she'd already done that with Mark so it wouldn't feel very creative, and secondly, it was messy, and required a huge clean-up that Lily didn't really want to go through again.  Besides, there wouldn't be another Amanda to take the fall for it, so that'd greatly complicate things.  Even though she had gloves on her, drowning didn't seem like the best option either, given how much bigger Tanner was than her, and he could easily overpower and try to drown her back, later claiming it to be self-defense.  And that left Lily her third and easiest option: the power of too many sleeping pills.  

Yes, yes that would be way to go.  She'd use the sleeping pills left over from her mother's last subscription (she started taking them shortly before Mark's murder), because Cynthia had decided recently that she didn't need them anymore.  Lily would have them crushed up beforehand so as not to waste time with that in the car for risk of Tanner catching her, and she'd pour them into Tanner's soft drink from the tiny plastic bag she brought them in.  Then she'd bring the two drinks down to the water with her, well aware of which drink was which, then hand into him while he was still in the water.  He'd thank her graciously before taking a long sip, then she'd walk away and let the pills do their job.  She'd pretend to fuss around in the car for a bit, then glance in the rearview mirror to see what was happening.  She'd watch Tanner sink into the water on his back and close his eyes, never to open again, and he'd die peacefully and easily without suffering.  It was not the death Lily would've initially wanted for him, but it wasn't her that he'd made suffer, it was Madison.  Unlike Mark, there was no emotional weight in it for her, so it seemed only fair that his murder be a quick one.  Then she'd call 911, telling them about her date with Tanner to the lake and when she went to meet him at the water to swim with him, he wasn't breathing.  When questioned, she'd say that he seemed a bit hammered when he arrived for their date, which would turn out to be true. They'd find alcohol, and hopefully some other drugs, in his veins already, and that way she'd be off the hook.  The bag and cup, both most likely containing residual powders, would be long gone at that point. 

Lily shook herself out of her reverie, to see Madison waving at hand in front of her face. "Hello? Earth to Lily? Can you read me?" Madison asked. 

"Whoa, I'm sorry, I was day-dreaming," Lily said quickly.

"Holy crap dude, I know you just got here but it looked like you were already in a drunken stupor!" Madison exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I got lost in thought when you said you wished Tanner would drop dead," she said honestly. 

Her friend became sympathetic. "Oh I see, brought back old memories did it?" Lily nodded.

"I honestly still can't believe she did it," Madison said. "I mean, I guess with the horse I can see Amanda killing it for mercy, but Mark...I just don't get it."

"Well, she made her choice, and now she's living with the consequences," Lily stated simply.

Madison suddenly smirked. "Dude, don't be so cynical, you're happy she did it, aren't you? God, you hated him so much, you might as well have done it yourself!" 

The two girls laughed, and Lily shook her head. "Yes, I hated him, but honestly Madison, do you seriously think  _I'm_ capable of committing murder?"

"Of course not Lily, you're way too nice for that!" she replied. "Plagiarism maybe, but murder? Never!"

"Good, because believe me, becoming a serial killer is NOT in the agenda for my future," Lily said. "And I guess in retrospect, Amanda did kind of do me and my mom a solid by killing him, because trust me, we're MUCH better off without him now."

"Well I'm glad you and Cynthia are happy Lily, because you both deserve it after everything you've been through," Madison said. "Anyway, ready to re-join the party?"

Lily nodded. "Sure, let's see if your man Ben took my advice about drinking water for the rest of the night." Madison raise an eyebrow and she said "I'll explain when we find him."

The two friends headed back inside, and when Lily caught sight of Tanner in the corner, an image of his shirtless, drugged up corpse floating in the lake entered the forefront of her mind. 

 _You're not a serial killer,_ she thought to herself.  _Mark's blood will be all that's on your hands._

_And besides, as far as the world's concerned, his blood is on Amanda's hands, not mine.  She made sure of THAT._

 

************

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics from "Alone" by Halsey. I think this is a great song for Lily. 
> 
> I apologize that it took me so long to churn out another one-shot. I love these two and I have all these ideas for them, but I was busy updating some of my other, bigger fanfics, as well as some other passion projects of mine. But immediately when I saw those two awesome Yuletide fics come in, I knew that it was high time that I finally updating this! I really like this one because it explores the residual darkness left over from killing Mark, and how Lily's going to have to keep pushing it down because it's most likely going to follow her around for the rest of her life. Plus, I like exploring her life outside her house and her interactions with Amanda. Hope you all had a lovely Christmas, and have a happy New Year as well! Next one-shot coming soon, and let me know if you possibly want a continuation of this in the future!


	3. No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something I've wondered with this movie is what EXACTLY pushed Lily to do what she did in the end. What made her decide that killing Mark herself and then framing Amanda was the best way to go? Well here's at least one of many possible answers to that question :).

_"5, 4, 3, 2, 1."_

CRUNCH, Lily popped another carrot stick into her mouth, imagining it as Mark's neck breaking down, after she sneakily pushed him down the stairs. It made her smile just thinking about it. 

_"5, 4, 3, 2, 1."_

CRUNCH, this time, she envisioned it as the sound of Honeymooner's spine breaking underneath Amanda's foot, and her smile turned into a grimace. 

It'd been three days since Lily had last seen Amanda, and three days since she'd spoken to Mark.  They'd both hurt her feelings in different ways, and she wanted nothing to do with either of them.  Mark being an asshole was not unusual, but that day he'd made it clear that he was glad Brookmore was taking her off his hands, and that hurt more than Lily wanted to admit.  Amanda only made it worse by not intervening, and then when she admitted to using the Technique at Nicholas Reynolds's funeral, that was the last straw.  Lily coldly told her to leave and hadn't seen or texted her since.  

But that didn't stop Amanda from trying. She'd texted Lily numerous times, most of them being "I'm sorry," and "I didn't mean it." One of them was "I didn't realize how insensitive that was," and that made Lily snort in response. Of course Amanda hadn't realized that, because lack of feeling equaled a lack of sensitivity.  Sure, she had a way of figuring things out based purely on tone of voice and facial expressions, but when it came to sympathy, she lacked there too.  

A more recent text read "What can I do to fix this?", and that just made Lily sigh and turn off her phone.  She couldn't help but feel annoyed by Amanda's persistence.  Didn't it occur to Amanda that her apologies were practically pointless? She couldn't feel sorry, so there was no real meaning in any of them. She just wanted Lily to forgive her and move on. 

Lily grabbed another carrot stick from the plastic baggie beside her, and adjusted her headphones. Unlike Amanda, she was more inclined to hold onto things. So not only was she still hurt by the funeral reveal, but she was still pissed at Tim for his cowardice.  Due to her radio silence, Amanda probably thought she'd let the plan go, but she hadn't.  She was in too deep to stop now, so at times like this when she was alone, she let herself imagine new and inventive ways to have Mark killed.  And it certainly helped that at the moment she was listening to a track aptly named "Murder Song", by AURORA. 

The stairs idea was one of several ideas that had come to mind in the last hour. However, not only did the end result remind her too much of the visual she had of Honeymooner's demise, it also seemed too unpredictable. Mark could survive the fall, sustaining only severe injuries, and he wouldn't have to see Lily do it to know that she'd pushed him. Then Brookmore would come to collect her faster than you could say "guilty." An air-tight alibi was crucial, and she wouldn't have one in that situation. 

 _"I know, he knows, that he's killing me for mercy. And here I go..."_ The song was set to 'repeat'. Its dark lyrics accompanied with the soft acoustic guitar suited her current mood. 

Suddenly, a loud knocking interrupted Lily's thoughts.  She groaned quietly as she paused the song and took off her headphones (she preferred them over earphones any day, because shoving the latter into secure positions tended to leave her ears sore). 

"Yes?" she called out.

"Sweetie, it's me," Cynthia said gently. 

Better her than Mark. "Come on in," Lily said stiffly. 

Cynthia stepped inside, and came over to sit on the edge of her daughter's bed. "Hey honey, what are you up to?"

 _Thinking of ways to murder your second husband._ "Nothing, just listening to music," she replied. 

"You know I haven't seen Amanda over here in a few days," Cynthia commented. "Do you guys have a fight or something?"

"Not really, we're fine," Lily lied. She didn't want to upset her mother by telling her Amanda fake-cried at her father's funeral. Because though she hated to admit, Mark was right when he said Cynthia didn't need another thing to make her anxious. But what he didn't seem to realize was that he made her quite anxious himself. 

"I'm actually surprised you're asking about her," Lily continued. "Mark clearly doesn't like having her around, and I thought you agreed with everything he said." 

Cynthia frowned. "That's not true, honey."

"Really?" Lily asked, giving her a pointed look. "What about Brookmore? Did you guys even  _have_ a discussion about it? Or did he strong-arm you into giving your consent the moment he thought you were going to disagree with him?"

Cynthia bit her lip. "Alright, first of all, that's not what happened. And second of all, that's actually what I came to talk to you about. I've changed my mind about Brookmore."

"You...what?" Lily exclaimed, confused as well as hopeful.

"I had my doubts about it before when Mark first mentioned it, because it seemed like he was only giving me the details I wanted to hear," she explained. "Then when you told me it was a school for girls with severe behavioral issues, I became even more concerned. So I did my own research on it, and sure enough, a lot of girls who were originally en-route to jail have been sent there, so there are actual  _criminals_ who go there. Plus, I even saw this news story on YouTube of how two students there beat each other up, and both of them had to be taken to the hospital!"

 _At last, we're finally on the same page for once,_ Lily thought to herself. Because she'd done the research before her mother had, so she already knew about Brookmore being a haven for teen criminals and that ugly fight.  She hadn't been able to tear her eyes away as the pictures of the girls' injuries appeared on screen, even despite the gruesomeness behind them. She was still in the trenches of a murder plot for God's sake, it was no time to get squeamish. 

"So what are you going to do about it?" she asked. 

"I'm going to talk to Mark and make him see sense," Cynthia said confidently. "You're staying local. Thankfully, Brookmore does allow you to pull out AND offers up full-refunds until August 1st, and we're way head of that date, so as long as I tell him that, hopefully this should all go pretty smoothly."

Though doubtful of that, Lily appreciated her mother's newly-instilled confidence to talk to Mark. "Good luck to you then," she said simply. 

"Thank you sweetie," Cynthia said, taking Lily's hand in hers. "Don't worry, this is going to get sorted out, I promise." Without waiting for a response, she got up and walked out. 

Lily listened for the distant sound of her mother's retreating footsteps before stepping out, leaving the phone and carrots on her bed. Then she made her way towards Mark's personal gym, where sure enough, she could hear him on the ergometer again.  She waited until Cynthia was inside the room before going hiding behind the door, which opened out into the hallway, then peeked inside through the crack between the door and the wall.  No way was she going to miss THIS. 

"Mark, can we talk?" Cynthia called out. 

Lily heard Mark sigh and then turn the ergometer off. "What is it, dear? It better be important, because you KNOW I don't like being interrupted while I'm working out."

 _Which is almost all the time,_ Lily thought. 

"I don't want Lily going to Brookmore," Cynthia stated bluntly. 

Mark let out another sigh, but this one more irritated than the last. "We talked about this. Your daughter going to Brookmore wasn't a conversation, and I've already made the down payment for the first semester."

Lily caught how Mark explicitly said " _your_ daughter," not " _our_ daughter," and she was more surprised by his decision to speak that detail to his wife's face rather than the simple fact that he said it.  She could care less whether or not he considered her his daughter, especially since she hardly referred to him as her stepdad unless in public. 

If Cynthia caught it, she didn't show it, because she said "Well you didn't tell me that besides being a school, it served as an alternative to jail." 

"Excuse me?"

"I did the research Mark. In many respects, it's like a detention center," Cynthia said, and then she relayed to Mark the same information she'd given Lily in her bedroom. 

"So because of that, I've decided that I don't want my baby going to Brookmore," she concluded. "I don't want her to fear for life every time she goes to and from class, and I don't want have to worry about something happening to her every day she's there."

Lily held her breath as she waited for Mark's response. His silence was deafening.

Finally, he spoke up, but it wasn't good. "First off, don't call Lily a baby. That makes it sound like she needs protection, and she's had too much of that already. And secondly, maybe getting a fight is exactly what she needs to get her to wake up already." 

"Mark!" Cynthia cried. "How can you possibly say that?"

"You want to know why?" Mark snapped. "It's because I'm tired of handling that girl with kid gloves! I provide her with a roof over her head, food on the table, and the opportunity to attend one of the best schools in the state! And what do I get in return? Ungratefulness, contempt, a high-and-mighty attitude, and finding out she got  _expelled_ from said school!"

"Her father's sudden death was hard on her Mark, and then my decision to remarry shortly after was quite a shock to her, so can you blame her for falling off the ladder a bit?" Cynthia exclaimed. 

"She's not even ON the ladder at this point!" he argued. "You keep defending her over and over for her actions and I'm tired of it! She's selfish, she treats everyone like her servants, and has been feeding off my payroll ever since she came into this house! Brookmore is exactly what Lily needs to finally understand that the world doesn't revolve around her, and that we're not sheltering her anymore." 

Though still hurt by his words, Lily had heard it all already. What surprised her was the fact that now  _her mother_ knew how Mark really felt about her. 

"I defend her because she's my daughter," Cynthia said, ice coating her tone. Lily gasped slightly, she never knew her mom had it in her to talk to Mark like that. 

"Well the maybe you should reevaluate your parenting skills," he hissed. 

"I'm not the one who needs reevaluating," she snapped back, and she shook her head. "Lily was right, you DO want to get rid of her."

"You know what, maybe I do," Mark exclaimed. "I never even wanted kids in the first place."

Lily stiffened; she hadn't been expecting that. And neither did Cynthia it seemed, because she didn't speak for several moments. 

"Fuck you," she finally said. 

SNAP. 

All three of them froze, stunned by what just occurred. 

Cynthia's left cheek now pulsated red with heat, and Mark's left hand was frozen in the air as the gravity what he'd done came over him.

Lily's heart was pulsating as well, only hers was with anger. 

Mark just hit her mother. And not with hateful words, but physically. With his own hand. 

If Lily needed a good reason to not give up on the plan, here it was. 

Without waiting for his apology, Cynthia raced out of the room, holding back tears.  Lily pressed herself up against the wall, keeping herself hidden until she was sure her mother was gone.  Then, after taking a couple of calming deep breaths, she stepped into the room, ready to face Mark.

"I saw what you did," she stated. 

Mark's face darkened. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit right now," he snapped.

_"5, 4, 3, 2, 1."_

"You hit her," Lily continued. 

"And who are either of you going to tell?" he wondered. "It was a mistake, and it won't happen again."

"But you're still going to pay for it," she said boldly. Mark's eyes flashed.

"What makes you think you can talk to me like that?" he exclaimed, walking over to her.

_"He holds the gun against my head."_

Lily stood her ground. "And what makes _you_ think you can attack my mother and get away with it?" she replied evenly.

He chuckled quietly. "Sounds like something that freaky friend of yours would say." Then it dawned on him. "It's her, isn't it? She's made you forget what your place is. Don't look so surprised, dear. You don't think I know that she's someone you go to and complain to about me? And in response she puts these little ideas into your head, making you think you have more control over this situation than you do. Which is why you think you can make these empty threats at me, foolishly thinking they'll scare me."

But that was the best part, wasn't it? The fact that she could threaten him to his face and he'd _still_ underestimate her. 

_"I close my eyes..."_

"Amanda's not a freak," she retorted.

"Believe what you want, but I've heard the stories," Mark said. "And just for the record, this whole thing with your mom is YOUR fault." 

"MY fault?"

"If you didn't manage to put up such a convincing front with her, she wouldn't feel the need to be so defensive of you," he explained. "But don't worry, once you're at Brookmore this will all be over. Cynthia will finally begin to see things  _my_ way, and will realize that sending you there was for the best thing for all of us." 

_"...And bang, I am dead."_

With that Mark, grabbed his juice from the mini-fridge next to the door and headed downstairs, leaving a stunned Lily behind.

She stood there for several seconds, processing all that had transpired between them.

In other words, once Lily was gone, Cynthia would have no protection against him. 

Which meant she was in danger of receiving more than just a slap across the face.

And Lily couldn't, no, WOULDN'T, let that happen.

*****

She lay on her bed, "Murder Song" once again playing on her phone as she struggled to remain calm.  Part of her wanted to kill Mark that night without a second thought, but there was no coordination in that, no plan for what came afterwards.  It would be foolish of her to think she could do that and not get caught.  It was just like Amanda said that day in the kitchen.

_"If we're going to do this, it's because it's the right thing to do. Not because you're upset and going through a hard time."_

Suddenly, just thinking of Amanda began to lessen Lily's anger. She couldn't believe Mark had the audacity to drag her into this as well, calling her a freak like that, and not even to her face. It wasn't Amanda's fault she'd suddenly stopped pretending with Mark. 

However, when it came to the dark, murderous thoughts now inhibiting her mind, Lily could fairly say Amanda was responsible for them without feeling bad. 

She couldn't help but wish Amanda was there to offer her a piece of stone-cold advice. But what would Lily say? She was still irritated with her friend for using the Technique at a time when she needed real emotional comfort from her, but at the same time, she knew she couldn't blame Amanda for that either.  It wasn't Amanda's fault that she wasn't wired like most people.  

If Lily needed someone to blame for that one, might as well blame God for making her that way. 

 _Ping._ Speaking of God, speak of the Devil, a new text from Amanda came in. 

She glanced down, preparing herself for Amanda's latest apology attempt. But instead, it was another one of these strange little life experiences Amanda sometimes shared with her. Lily never asked why she sent them, or for any explanations, because she figured it was Amanda's non-verbal way of trying to get her to understand her better. 

_Saw a crow eating a dead animal on our road today. Not sure what the meal was, I didn't get a closer look because I didn't want to scare it away, but it might've been a possum. It's interesting to think that while humans can choose what they eat, crows and lots of other animals can't. They're born with this immediate knowledge of what it is they're meant to eat. Crows can't suddenly decide to move on from roadkill and become vegetarians. Because that's their role in the circle of life, and they can't quit their jobs like humans either. No matter how insignificant their jobs may seem to us, if they ever stopped, everything would still fall apart without them. Humans are the only animals Nature gave up control over._

_Ping._

_Mom saw me watching it, and naturally she turned away from the sight, grossed out. She never did grasp the concept of death very well, as the situation with Honeymooner proved. I think it sometimes scares her how much I've come to understand and respect the idea myself._

Lily read the last line over and over again, wondering that if Amanda was so accepting of death, what did she keep refusing to kill Mark if she knew she wouldn't have to get caught?

Then it hit her.

It was Lily, Lily was meant to do it, not Amanda. And perhaps Amanda had been hinting at this whole time. 

When Amanda first asked about whether or not she thought about killing Mark, her exact words were " _You_ ever just thought of killing him?" followed by " _You_ could at least consider it," and then "Why are  _you_ assuming  _you'd_ get caught?" In fact that whole conversation Amanda kept using the word "you", in reference to Lily, when talking about killing Mark. Like she was trying to convince her to get on board with that idea. 

When Lily asked her how she would kill Mark at the pool, Amanda said "Well  _I_ wouldn't do it, if that's what you're asking." Maybe that's because she wanted Lily to do it instead of her. And when "you" became "we", despite Amanda seeming like the one who was taking charge, perhaps she meant only to be an accomplice. 

After knocking out Tim, Amanda told her straight to her face " _You_ cannot hesitant. The only thing worse than being incompetent, or being unkind, or being evil, is being indecisive." Could that haven been an ominous warning for the future?

Then Tim backed out like a coward, and Amanda warned her that they needed to make sure they were murdering Mark for the right reasons. She said _Lily_ couldn't be upset and having a hard time, never mind her.

Lily stood up, realizing now what this plot had been representing the whole time. It was a lesson, a crash course on how to commit the crime herself. She wasn't sure if that was what her friend had originally intended, but at this point, it was clear that Amanda had been instructing her in the art of murder.

As well as how to get away with it. 

Lily glanced down at her phone, a plan now forming in her mind.  Some would consider it cruel, others evil, but she knew Amanda would find it smart.

She would, that is, if Lily told her about it. Which she wasn't going to. 

As much as she wanted to text Amanda to come over right then and there, again, she had to do it for the right reasons and in the right environment. She had to have a game plan for the action and the outcome, which she didn't have at the moment. 

But by tomorrow night, she would. Tomorrow night, she would text Amanda to come over, seemingly forgiving her for the other day, and though Amanda would be confused by her insistence that she come over, Lily would brush it off like it was nothing. Then everything would play it out the same way it was in Lily's mind. 

Mark might've won tonight's battle, but by tomorrow, Lily would be the true victor. And by then, Mark would be no more. 

************

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the prolonged update, I had a lot going on, including a period where I didn't have a lot motivation to update any of my fics. I hope this long, detailed one-shot made up for it though! I have several ideas for future chapters planned out, and as heads up, they may actually follow a chronological order, we'll see. The next one will feature both Lily & Amanda, I promise :). Can you guys believe it's been over a year since Thoroughbreds' official release? That alone helped motivate me to get this one done finally. And just to reiterate, the lyrics are from "Murder Song" by AURORA, which I was inspired to use after watching a video of it paired with Lily's character. Here's the link if you want to see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ntezol6STg . 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and keeping up with me, I really appreciate it :). ~W.


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